Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You made out with two different species that night
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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