We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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