I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
