He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
