did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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