dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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