u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
