I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Randomize
