Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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