I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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