I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
