6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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