We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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