shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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