Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
This is the high leading the old right now
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
how drunk are you?
Several
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
