Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
