your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
