It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
vagina is talking i cant
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So much rum. So many feels.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Randomize
