Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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