he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
bring money and cleavage
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
