I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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