Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
