It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
