well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
