just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
