This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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