Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
