I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
