Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
