she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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