If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The adults are the big ones right?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
