Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
