I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
