im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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