I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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