pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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