So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
