FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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