Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
