I feel like I'm in dance class right now
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
