life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize