Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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