your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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