It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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