If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
