I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
