brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
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