Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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