i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
