I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
